Hier mal der Inhalt unseres Englisch Blattes.
Eins zu eins abgeschrieben!

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, mils the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on income.

SURREALISM
You have 2 giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Und nun zum witzigen Teil.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot,and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size og an ordanary cow and produce thwenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You re-engineer them so they live 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch with a little vino...

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Des geht no so weiter mit paar anderen CORPORATION's, aber hab keine Lust des weiter abzuschreiben!

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy....

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



http://eccentric-toast.com/YouHave2Cows
http://skfox.com/2007/09/13/economics-of-cows/

oder vor allem auch http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/You_have_two_cows

Arsch.
Wär ich net zu faul gewesen des im Inet zu suchen.

Lehrer: Wie schreibt man Atlantischer Ozean?
Schüler: Ozean groß und äähm Atlantischer auch groß!
Lehrer: Falsch! Beides groß.


Lehrer: Wer hat euch bitte das Wort "aufleiten" beigebracht?
Schüler: Unser Physiklehrer.
Lehrer: Dem klatsch ich gleich Zehne.

Schüler: Hier stinkts irgendwie
Lehrer: geh bitte raus!
Schüler: wieso das denn?
Lehrer: Waschen? Ich riechs doch auch schon, das will ich den anderen nicht antuen!

unser Prof vorhin:

Irren ist Menschlich!
lateinisch: Erare humanum est!
Die Abkürzung dafür ist Ehe!

Das ist mal cool

Aufgabe des Lehrers, einer sagt einen Satz und der Nachbar muss den gleichen Satz in reported speech sagen.

Schüler zum Mitschüler: I fucked Fabians mum. (Fabian war ein anderer Mitschüler)
Lehrer bekommt das mit: Wiederholst du den Satz bitte noch einmal!
Schüler wiederholt den Satz.
Lehrer: Jaaaaaa, so ist das hier also, weisst du was man dazu sagt?
Schüler: emm nö?
Lehrer: Cockhead!

Lehrer:

Zahl gerade in der SB